When Everything Gets Quiet And Cold- An Eulogy

Chachaji was one of the most authentic humans I know of. He was extremely fond of life and yet he chose consciously to go gracefully when it was time. He asked his wife for permission to leave when his body couldn’t take no more of disease and painful medical ramifications. 

She did and no amount of medicine ,vents could keep him back . The fight with cancer and multiple issues got his body but couldn’t get to his spirit. He lived each moment joyfully and he loved his own fiercely. He was indeed honest to what he believed in. He always followed his heart. It was a sheer delight to know him and being around him was a party, even in the last few days he made sure he and his care givers are having a good time. The endless stories of his emergence despite many physical challenges that came in his 75 years of life be it Tuberculosis, varicose veins , mental stresses , diabetes, pulmonary and cardiac troubles to cancer he got out of them all and still smiled radiantly … his wife and family always beside him, always walking the path to recovery with him until now when he chose to walk alone in the journey of his soul. 

He found joy in little toys and trinkets. I still remember him ordering so many fengshui cats, maneki neko, which perpetually welcome you with a waving hand and gift it to every person he met . Each year one new thing he would find to distribute. He was childlike with all the kids of the family and loved to be known as the dadu who distributed handful of candies, chocolates and five stars. 

Beaming at us through his morning crossword puzzle, asking us difficult synonyms , enjoying the crispy  samosas with piping hot chai and always waiting for the monsoons to order his favourite pakoras and halwa which was home made to perfection by chachiji. He shared it excitedly with all of us. He created a space in our hearts which shall always remain.  

Despite the taste for life when time came to give it all up he did so without batting an eyelid.  It makes me wonder isn’t this the biggest lesson to learn ? Live unapologetically and die consciously.

I remember his immense faith in Kamakhya Devi temple.  He cherished the daughters of the family more than anyone else . He was extremely progressive in his thoughts and yet knew the boundaries well. He cared in his unique ways and one could feel that without needing to hear the right words. His love and regard for his siblings was exemplary. I have never seen a 75 year old treat his 77 year old elder brother as a father. He was like the first born to my father in law . Papa called him “Chandia” and loved him dearly. The last video call to papa when he was tubed and wired to machines and yet his smile reflected in his eyes as he folded his hands twice to pay his respects and gratitude to his elder brother who almost broke down with grief and sadness. He knew it was his baby brother’s last goodbye. 

Detachment where needed. 

Attachment where important. 

Impulsive decisions lead you astray.

Believe in God for bigger things and for everything else he has given you wisdom to depend on. 

Give even if it’s a little stocking stuffer, give with gladness. 

Receive with openness and love. 

These are the most important lessons we all learned from him.

He was a sahitya ratan , a learned man along with being an esoteric, a psychic , an astrologer , numerologist.  He had a huge collection of books for which he was quite possessive, his library was my place of interest and I did manage to borrow the book on psychic sciences recently and just when he was about to leave for treatment from which he never returned he told me finish reading that book and put it back in his library. “I did it Chachaji I finished it and you are not there to discuss it with .”

As you came back from Mumbai ice cold and wrapped in layers of covering. As you lay there being undressed and dressed, garlanded and prepared to take your final journey towards the anandmayi ghats of the Ganges, my tears washed away my delusion, the skin and bones cannot hold on to your essence nor can they contain the love which is eternal. It was never you, you are boundless. 

“I am truly grateful for everything. Every kind gesture and every tough lesson you made me learn . I owe a lot to you. I am truly blessed to have been your daughter-in-law. Too difficult to say our goodbyes Chachaji but we hope you spread your cheer in the heavens. May you always feel loved and may your soul rests in peace.”